ALREADYENOUGH
ALREADYPARENTING
MANY VOICES INFORM US THAT LOVING OUR GAY KIDS MEANS WE HAVE TO 'ENCOURAGE' THEM TO BE STRAIGHT. YOU WON'T FIND THAT RHETORIC HERE. THERE ARE OTHER VOICES WORTH LISTENING TO OFFERING FAITHFUL AND LIFE-GIVING OUTCOMES.
Parents and caregivers, it might feel like you're alone, but others have paved this path before you. They, too, needed time to process their head, heart, and soul. Many made mistakes - finding themselves stuck between a rock and a hard place of “my child or the church”. Many wish they had the resources like ALREADYENOUGH.
So, here’s some hope - a way forward - one step and breath at a time.
Other's stories are here to help.
Choose one; read, digest, pray, repeat on another page.
"Mom, I'm Gay," Loving Your LGBTQ Child and Strengthening Your Faith
– Susan Cottrell
TOP PICK
Highly recommended.
Susan Cottrell has been there - not only has she been there, but she is also guiding the way for others. She's written several books AND has put together incredible resources on: https://www.freedhearts.org/
Feel like you're flying blind? When your child reveals that they are attracted to the same sex, how you respond may have a lot to do with your faith and what you've been taught to believe. Many are taught that the Bible says it's wrong and are left conflicted about whether they will need to leave their Church - or worse, "Do I have to choose between my Christian faith and my child?" Susan Cottrell is a mom who has been there and wants you to know that loving and accepting your gay child does not mean abandoning or even compromising your faith. She is deep well of knowledge and practical help. Be encouraged.
Embracing the Journey: A Christian Parents' Blueprint to Loving Your LGBTQ Child
– Greg and Lynn McDonald
Highly Recommended
Highly Rated
What a fabulous mum and dad perspective that's vitally important. The McDonald's invite you into their journey with honesty and lashings of hope - presented in three down to earth and inspiring sections; 1. Fear, 2. Surviving, and 3. Thriving. It will not leave in feeling stuck... or alone. Actually, this book might be a comforting balm, a restorative breath of fresh air, and a self-stretching invitation into a deeper liberating faith. May we never underestimate the power of love, and may we be ever grateful for the generosity of others' stories.
Love Makes Room: And Other Things I Learned When My Daughter
Came Out
– Staci Frenes
TOP PICK
Highly recommended.
Highly Rated
Frenes wrote this book to shed light on an inner journey that may mirror your own. She isn't trying to argue you into anything - instead, she's inviting you to glean from her lived reality and the inner workings of her heart. A talented wordsmith, this book is beautiful, sensitive, meaningful and insightful. It might be the lifeline you've been looking for - as it has for many others - as she walks you through her learning curves, prayers, and shifts with raw honesty and authenticity. In addition, Frenes is inviting us into Holy spaces for meaningful conversations.
How We Sleep At Night: A Mother's Memoir
– Sara Cunningham
Highly recommended.
There are many reasons we find ourselves shifting. It doesn't matter whether you are questioning hell, penal substitution, or the end times. Perhaps you're troubled by how politics has invaded the pulpit, or you're uncomfortable with how Christians treat people in the LGBTQ+ community. Or you're just not convinced that the Bible is really inerrant, infallible, or inspired. This book is beneficial and thoughtfully researched, with many credible voices throughout its pages. It's worth your investment of time, head, and heart - and let's face it - soul.
“I want to be in the arena. I want to be brave with my life. And when we make the choice to dare greatly, we sign up to get our asses kicked. We can choose courage or we can choose comfort, but we can’t have both. Not at the same time.”
Brené Brown
Maybe you are the listening or watching type - thank God for brilliant videos! Check out some of the following...
Lifeboats – B.T Harman. A message for Parents
Also check out B.T. Harman's 'Online Support Program for Christian Parents of LGBT Kids.'
“One of the greatest storms a parent can face is a child coming out as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender. It often feels like an ambush—unexpected and devastating. It's saying things you wish you'd never said. It is the creeping grip of new fears and the death of old dreams. And once the dust settles, it's learning to navigate a whole new world.) B.T Harman
Pray Away – Official Movie Trailer
Ex-leaders and survivor of the so-called “conversion therapy” movement speak out about its harm to the LGBTQ+ community and its devastating persistence.
Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/PrayAway
B.T Harman - Establish a Communication Cadence: Short snippet on how and why and when of communication.
FreedHearts
Susan Cottrell, FreedHearts
Mums, Dads, this is for you - Susan's podcasts address so many of the questions churning in your heart and heart.
Changing the human conversation of love and inclusion. Susan Cottrell is the Mom of two LGBTQ children; the founder of FreedHearts; an international speaker with a viral TEDx talk; a pastor and theologian; an acclaimed author; and a fierce advocate and Ally. Susan is a prominent voice of unconditional love and lavish inclusion in her unique, tender, relatable style. If you have been excluded, or someone close to you has been excluded because of who they are or who they love - or maybe you have been the one doing the excluding - the FreedHearts podcast is for you. Join Susan, along with her husband Rob, on the journey. You are not alone. Welcome home!
SECOND CLOSET...
Have you heard about the Second Closet?
It's the closet families go into because they are afraid of how their faith community or extended family will treat them for having a child that has come out - read some thoughts here:
https://johnpavlovitz.com/2014/09/04/into-the-second-closet-christian-parents-with-gay-children/
One of the fantastic realities is the internet brings us closer - check out some incredible resources right here...
FREEDHEARTS | freedhearts.org
When Susan and Rob Cottrell’s oldest daughter first came out, their family began a journey of discovery. Since then, they founded FreedHearts which reaches into hurting communities with a message of love, inclusion, belonging, and hope. They offer articles, training, online support networks, live workshops, and much more — designed to support parents of LGBTQ+ individuals. Her popular TED Talk has over a million views.
EMBRACING THE JOURNEY | embracingthejourney.org
Greg and Lynn McDonald founded Embracing the Journey as an outgrowth of their family’s personal journey associated with having a gay child. They are bridge builders passionate about helping people lean into their journey where true healing can occur. As followers of Jesus, Greg and Lynn have first-hand experience managing the complicated feelings associated with learning their son was gay. Greg and Lynn have personally coached and counselled many hundreds of Christian parents from around the country who have lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender children.
MAMA BEARS | www.realmamabears.org
Led by Liz Dyer, Mama Bears is known across the nation as a vibrant network of moms of LGBTQ+ kids. They provide comprehensive parenting resources and private online communities for moms to connect, ask questions and share stories. They also advocate for the LGBTQ+ community through various projects that provide support and encouragement, especially to LGBTQ+ youth.
HARBOR | btharman.com/harbor
Led by BT Harman, creator of the Blue Babies Pink podcast, Harbor is an online support program for parents of LGBTQ+ kids. The Harbor curriculum includes ebooks, a digital workshop, and a private online community. Parents who have joined Harbor are learning to love, support, & understand their LGBT children better.
LOVE WELL | parkviewchurch.com/lovewell
Love Well is faith-based support for parents and loved ones of LGBTQ individuals, where they can bring their pain and confusion and can process their common experiences together. In this safe and confidential environment, parents begin to recognise that they are not alone and that God is enough for them...even for this journey. As we look to the example of Jesus, He empowers us to refocus our hearts, and grow in loving our children well, even if we may disagree with their choices.
PFLAG | pflag.org
PFLAG is the first and largest organisation for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ+) people, their parents and families, and allies. Their expansive programs and services include helpful resources for parents and families of LGBTQ+ kids.
Looking to connect with other parents?
Parents Of Rainbow Tamariki - this group is a private, secret group for parents of diverse experience, living in or associated with New Zealand, who want to love and affirm their LGBTQ children of any age. Parents come together in this group to share encouragement and support, and to find peace in our lives, including from God. This is a community where you can share experiences, ask questions, and receive no judgment - only support and love.
A Blessing for you
Put your feet on the ground,
breathe deeply -in -out -repeat...
May God remind you
of the happiness
your child bought you
from their first smiles,
frequently
May you hear
God's voice
reminding you
how much
Jesus
loves
YOUR
child
May you know
God's love
more
deeply
May you experience
God's
daily
peace
May you be
content
in the joy
of knowing
God
fully.
Gillian Curtis
